Okay, so here's the deal... I've been a bit down lately.
I can't quite figure out how to deal with it. I don't want people to feel bad for me, I just need some prayer.
I'll explain, this year started out alright, but what I didn't realize was it would all go down hill from there. The church group that I've attended for the past two years has pretty much disintegrated, the people I once knew as a big happy family have dispersed and the once called meeting place is no longer the hub. Problem is it all happened so fast that I feel like I'm so lost. I'm at a point where I feel like everyone is too busy, and I'm here alone with my stupid thoughts that taunt me all the time. I haven't had to deal with these crazy thoughts since before Dad passed.... mostly because I've had people/friends to keep my mind off of it.
I know things and people change... I guess I just don't deal with change all that well.
I would do anything for my friends, I've spent so much of the past 2 or 3 years making sure they have a friend to lean on and THANK GOD I've had friends to lean on the past 3 years because I know I would not be the person I am today without them holding me up.
I'm fighting the thoughts in my head because I know their not true... but they continue to taunt me trying to make me believe that I've done something wrong, or that people have moved on without me.
God my prayer tonight is that you will give me peace, that these thoughts would leave my mind, that you will fill me with your presence! Amen
-Brooke
p.s. I hope that no one takes offense to anything they read or read into here. I'm only voiceing how I feel and I know it's just me and my mind.
I just need to find myself again...
Hey! I know how you feel on this one. I often struggle with the thoughts issue as well. Though in a different way, I have a hard time letting go of the things I've done in the past. This worry becomes borderline obsessive and shows my lack of faith that He has forgiven me. This worry is wrong on my part. The enemy whispers these things to us to get us to doubt Him and ourselves. Keep in mind the enemy can only do what God allows him to do so there may be a lesson to be learned. In my case its trust, I need to let go of the worry and Trust Him, trust that he loves me, has forgiven me, and will care for me and my family. For you perhaps he wants you to use Him as your main lean on guy, and that no matter what happens on your live He is always there to lean on, He does not change. Anywho, that's all I've got for ya. Love ya sis!
ReplyDelete-Jack